Almost 20 years ago, I met Susan when I was walking through a long, dark corridor of pain and depression towards rebirth. I admit that I had to be forced to contact her initially. I’m pretty self-reliant and didn’t feel I needed any outside help. My wise friend, who helped me through that one crisis in an escalating series of crises, wouldn’t let me leave until I had called Susan, and relief set in when I got her voicemail and I didn’t have to commit to seeing her at that moment. The ensuing month before she called me back (she was out of the country) allowed the idea to sink in and gain acceptance that I needed somebody’s help. Timing is everything. When she called me back, I was ready to get help. Over the following personal weekly consultations, she gently saw me through the self-defeating mechanisms, the “yes-buts,” the surprisingly many little games my ego played on me and called my attention to them, challenging me to change them. Wow! I had no idea!
Then, she invited me to join one of her first get-togethers. They were co-ed back then, which was good for me since my issues were so male-oriented. As with many of the Harvest celebrations, they required me to put down an intention and explore it over the course of the days spent with her. Through music, drumming, meditation and help from others, I was able to see some past lives that explained the dynamics of the relationship I had with a husband, and why I needed to remove myself from his controlling attitude. It was the beginning of some of the most amazing discoveries into myself over many celebrations spanning the next 15 years.
The Harvest celebrations have evolved since the very first one that I attended, and each one has been new, different, and mind expanding. I have attended probably six to eight of them (I have lost count). It is so easy to become addicted to them, because they make me feel so good and I learn so much about myself at them that I make spiritual progress by leaps and bounds. But, I try not to use them as a crutch. Between them, I must do my own work. Doing one’s work is like eating a fine dinner, appreciating every bite, exploring the flavors, textures and scents, even if some of them are a bit bitter, a bit sour, a bit difficult to digest.
Susan and the Harvest celebrations are like desert, soooo rich, so full of joy, so full of possibilities and each one opens a new dimension into one’s self. When I have completed the work that the previous one presented to me, then I allow myself to come back and experience new perspectives. To be with Susan, Anuheah, Paula and all of her gentle helpers and members of her Harvest celebration is to explore the possibilities of who I am in depth and what my connection to others implies.
On my 55th birthday, I experienced my first vision quest. I was alone for 24 hours with a gallon of water, a chair and I had selected a spot in a grove of small saplings that resembled gray bars of a jail, with a canopy of green leaves. The spot where I traced my 6 foot circle in which I resided had been hit by lightning and the ground was sterile and was the fine powder of ash. I wrote all my impressions in a journal and over the hours, I would catch a wisp of drumming from other members who were assisting me on my journey. Birds and horses came to inspect me. It was so quiet that only the regular fly-byes of small aircraft broke the stillness. During the night I dreamed vividly. I woke briefly to see the rising full moon illuminate my prison. By the time it was time to leave that stillness, I walked out of my spot reluctantly. It was difficult to return and leave that fabulous stillness behind. Everyone should experience this at least once to become one with the rhythm of Mother Earth.
The last time I joined a Harvest celebration was several years ago. It was autumn at a ranch North of Bozeman. Nature was at her most glorious, rich in color and contrast. Wild animals abounded, elk and bear, hawk and falcons. In that lovely setting, I felt a renewed power from nature and the group.
Life sometimes interferes with plans for a return, but I know that when the time is right, I will return. I owe it to myself. There has never been one that didn’t reveal something new about myself and my role as a woman among women. Susan has always been an inspiration, a teacher, a gentle guide on my journey to be the best that I can be, and I look forward to another Harvest celebration sometime soon…
by: Christine (Kiki)